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About Varied / Hobbyist Kailah Jade Rodriguez19/Female/United States Group :iconthe-problem-solvers: The-Problem-Solvers
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Welcome to Hell, How May I Help You? Chapter 4
A/N: Sorry, I know I have annoyed many people with the lack of a name for the main character, this chapter fixes that!
Days passed by so slowly. I learned to deal with my mind blurring days into one, and confusing my mind beyond belief. It was where the beauty in my heart was born. When your days blur, everything looks different. Everything looks stronger or weaker. The weak things fade, while the strong ones are remembered. It made the madness bearable. It made it hilarious.
I had never learned what was known so often as "Motherly love" for a number of reasons. My mother never took care of me like she was supposed to. My friends began to worry when my breakdowns came back. Some left me. I had a few left and that was it. I stayed strong and let my life show who I was and will always be. I was only fifteen, but I was said to be more mature. I know the longer I write the heavier the weight is. The harder it will be to control alone. I could crush me if I'm not careful. If I continue to w
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Welcome to Hell, How May I Help You? Chapter 3
     I learned to deal with the pain. I had lost all sense of mentel awareness. Was this what it was like to have your abilities disappear? I had them torn from me. I used to feel, with great imensity, the emotions of those around me. Now I felt... nothing. Sometimes my awareness came back. I came for fleeting seconds, making me fully aware, and left. It was like a slap in the face. Only I welcomed it. I wanted it to stay. As I spent more time on the pill I began to lose more and more awareness. I always felt lost and there was less and less time that I could span in my mind before the thoughts became hazy. It got to the point where I couldn't remember anything clearly. I ended up going into high school and getting great grades, although they were never good enough. I just wanted my head back to normal. I learned to laugh again. I learned that I could hold someone close, that I could let myself out of the self-imposed cloud of mystery. I began t
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Welcome to Hell, How May I Help You? Chapter 2
I was so depressed, and my mom would never listen to me. I tried telling her once.
"She said she was going to kill me if I tried to talk to her!"
"I'll take care of it, honey."
I hadn't even stepped out of the room before I heard, "Lisa! Can you belive this? Listen, While-"
I tuned it out. I didn't want to hear the whole "I'm so upset my daughter needs help..." speech.
"Thanks mom..." I mumbled as I left the room. Why did I have to deal with this alone?
Nobody even wanted to see me. My heart felt like lead in my chest. I always wanted to cry. I was constantly called names in the hallway. I never knew pain until I had no one to rely on. I never knew loneliness. I cried myself to sleep every night. I just knew that someday, when I could leave, it would get better. The hardest battles were given to the strongest soldiers. I was so upset. I tried telling my mother, but all I was to her was a great source of gossip. I tried to find my solace in writing but my mother even tried to take that
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Welcome to Hell, How May I Help You? Chapter 1
I missed being a kid. You could have any ideas you want, and none of them were to outrageous to be true. I remember being asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I said I wanted to be an Astronaut. Seems so silly now. Now all I want is to have my childhood. I'm only fifteen and I know too much about the horrid world I live in. All the terrible people and the evil minds that plague the souls of the innocent; all I want is not to be one of them. With knowledge comes pain. So much pain. I just want it to end and leave me alone.
I was only a girl; a helpless little girl, forced to grow up too quick. I never knew that your heart could feel so heavy or that your mind could avert your body and make you do things you don't ever want to do. What I would give to go back. I'd give so much for the pain to go away. I guess I need to start at the beginning to figure out where this pain came from.
I was born so small; they never thought I'd make it. I was too small to even breathe on my own. I made
:iconiisakitty:Iisakitty 2 10
I belong...
I belong in a world
much unlike our own,
where love is forever,
and sorrow is a myth.
Everyone agrees,
no one fights,
and there are clear days
and starry-eyed nights.
Where everyone is free
to follow their heart
to fly with birds,
and swim with dolphins.
Where numbers are meaningless,
and time is a lie.
Where love is forever.
I live in a world,
much unlike ours,
where life never fades,
and hearts cannot be broken.
Where your time is told by a roll of the die.
:iconiisakitty:Iisakitty 3 2
When do you stop?
When will you see?
I am not a toy!
Stop playing with me,
as though I were one.
As though I meant nothing.
You break me, over and over,
Fix me, just enough so I work,
Then break me again.
I'm waiting for the day,
you just leave me,
When you're done...
How long must I cry,
How loud do I need to scream?
Why do you do this to me?
Are my screams even heard?
Does anyone care anymore?
Should they?
Why not?
Nobody cares about what happens to the
Crazy girl down the street,
The one who needs to cry,
The one who refuses to let go,
For the sake of herself,
She refuses,
To be lost
To be forgotten
To be misjudged
To be hurt,
To go on quietly
Without a word of the pain she feels.
Exactly what everyone wants her to be,
on the outside,
But inside,
She has reached her
SHe SCReaMS FoR HeLP, No oNe WiLL CoMe FoR HeR
For she is
aLoNe in her iNSaNiTy
:iconiisakitty:Iisakitty 3 59
Silent Savior
For everything we do,
I find a way to make it as though it is our last,
All I want is to live as myself.
I'm a gem, according to some
An old, forgotten stone to others.
I sit and begin to wonder,
If I were to meet you, in my tears,
Would either know?
Would you be able to say, "she's the girl,
The one I helped that day"
Or would you go on, my hidden savior?
Would I see you and say, "you know how to help a sap like me,
Thank you."
I wouldn't know. I'd go on, unknowing, as usual.
So I take this time now,
Thank you,
To my silent savior
:iconiisakitty:Iisakitty 1 0
Love is a Lost Cause
What is love if you cannot feel it freely?
What is life alone?
Questions are pointless without an answer.
Why do we bother?
Where do we go from here?
A heavy heart sinks faster than stone.
Wind wails, the crys of lost children, alone.
When will this end?
What can we do?
When lost, how do you find your way?
Does it even matter?
No. It never does.
What can matter in this world?
Forget it, we are lost anyway.
Make the most of it.
So where do we go from here?
How do we save ourselves?
We don't.
We wait.
We wait for the flames to die,
then we act.
So, where do we go from here?
For free love, and freedom in itself.
:iconiisakitty:Iisakitty 3 0
If I Was Gone
What if I were to dissapear?
Would you care,
Would you even notice?
If I could, I would try to make it back
Only to find my absence went unnoticed.
So, if I were to dissapear, how would you feel,
If I never came back?
Would you cry for my loss,
Or sing my favorite song to my lost soul?
Would you hold a picture close to your heart,
Write me a poem?
Would my breath be wasted, asking this of you?
Would it make a difference, would it at all?
Would you light a candle on that day,
Or would you sing our song?
If I were to disapear, promise me one thing:
Let no one cry at my funeral; only allow them to sing and shout about the life I lived
promise me... only that... and my soul will rest happily...
:iconiisakitty:Iisakitty 2 0
When I cry, when I scream,
You never hear me.
No matter what I say,
What I do,
You're never there.
She's my saving grace.
I say "I'm fine" to get you to think,
"If she's fine, then why does she cry?"
You don't see! You're blind to my tears!
She sees even the ones that don't fall,
The silent killers.
The ones that never get shown.
She sees all.
You are blind.
I know you'll read this.
Think my heart is just here.
That this "is my thing"
Act like last time.
I'm not a child.
This is real.
I am real.
I can die.
I'm not forever.
You can't control my whole life.
I am me.
You are blind.
You don't know me.
At all.
:iconiisakitty:Iisakitty 1 0
The Good of the World
Why do people always exclaim,
And oh so loud and frequent do they
Say that there is no good left in
The world, but how can that be?
Ah, but they do not realize something
I have recently discovered,
Something that let's me live
In solitude, and udder happiness.
You can only see the
Good of the world if you
Search for it, look past
The bad, because happiness does not lie unhidden.

Something bad will always come your way,
But as dreadful as it is,
It is only an opportunity to find
Something new, and something better within.
:iconidoartguy:idoartguy 24 16
To all Fans and Friends, even Haters! :D
Dear Lord, thank you! So much!
You people make me feel so loved, so worth being alive! The things you guys tell me, it makes me so happy, makes me feel so important!
I cannot thank you all enough for doing all you do <3
I love each and every one of you, even the haters who say I'm good for nothing ;) You guys only make it easier for me you know, haters show me my flaws, and make me realize how much a person caring for you is worth.
Quite amusing too ;)
:iconidoartguy:idoartguy 5 91
Words DO Hurt
This is the whole reason why I do what I do.
This is the reason for the Emo-Awareness and The-Problem-Solvers.
This is why I was born.
Here's another associated with self-harm...
:iconidoartguy:idoartguy 1 67
Mature content
A Life for a Life :iconyouaremore1:YouAreMore1 2 5
Look To The Sky
I told her:
"Forever I have waited for you,
Forever, I've looked to the sky,
Wished with my soul and heart,
For someone to come my way
So my lonesomeness would flee,
And how my blood was spilled upon
That starry night of
Gray furred clouds."
She cooed,
Happy as can be,
Yet cried as she pulled away from me,
Unable to talk,
Unable to see me.
I told her:
"Look to the sky,
Look far into it,
Deep and hard.
But only if you listen
Will you hear me,
Hear my cries.
For the sky never forgets,
Neither will I."
:iconidoartguy:idoartguy 22 13


Journal History


Art-is-my-Boyfriend's Profile Picture
Kailah Jade Rodriguez
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
I'm not sure many if you will remember me. It's been a very long time since I was on here last. I am coming back though. I may not be doing a lot of art due to stress with school and home, but if anyone wants to talk I will respond. I look forward to talking with ya'll and seeing new works.(:



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KyleAndTheClassics Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Professional Photographer
Thank you for the watch!
Art-is-my-Boyfriend Featured By Owner May 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem(:
PinkPokeball Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2012
Here's something you outta know about the girl you're watching.

A while back =SmotsFridgley faked a suicide on her old account, !CQ-Doodles that was supposedly deactivated by her parents, who were grieving over her death.

The girl that pretended to commit suicide, trearing apart all her friend's hearts, just so she could run away from saying "i'm sorry" to a couple of people. She put the blame on those couple of people, saying they were the ones that pushed her to suicide, making all of her friends and watchers completely and utterly rip them apart.

And now she's lying more, in order to get out of it AGAIN, by saying those people hacked her and put the blame on themselves!

Who would even do that? Who would put themselves through hell with all the grieving people flaming them? No "Hacker" would ever say a user committed suicide, and them blame themselves for it. That's seriously dumb, and she's digging herself a bigger hole.
Art-is-my-Boyfriend Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
And why are you telling me this? I've never even talked to her.
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